Bleary-eyed and exhausted, I dragged myself from my warm bed (I actually had to extricate myself from between 2 equally bleary Ragdoll cats) and headed into the kitchen. Despite an odd shivering sensation in the back of my throat, I managed to choke down the required cup of hot water and 1/2 a lemon. Uvula settled back into place after only 15 minutes, so things are looking up in that department. Good thing. Little sleep was experienced last night. Why, you ask? Just a little something I like to call, "The Green Tea Shuffle". "The Smart Water Samba". OR, that great disco dance number, "The 3 AM Hustle". Four times during the night, I was awakened by the undeniable, physiological consequences of consuming 64 ounces of water (4 of which contained the pulp of 1/2 a lemon!) and three cups of green tea in a single day. I fail to understand how the dozen or so trips made throughout the day didn't quite preclude the dance mix that occurred at my house last night! And, as predicted in yesterday's entry - I had company. A little conga line. Back and forth. Back and forth. "Let's head to the bath-ROOM! Let's head back to bed NOW!" Good times. Not. I'm also having a little trouble understanding how my ankles can be slightly swollen. Dr. Mike tells us that our ankles swell when we are dehydrated. The body is storing water in the event we don't consume the correct quantities of the stuff the next day.
Dehydrated. Seriously?
It's that damned Uvula. This is how she's getting her revenge for the hot water/lemon doses. Somehow, she's gotten connected to whatever brain cell controls this whole fluid thing. "Retain water," she coos. "she'll never stick with it. She's got 4 12-packs of Tab in the closet. She'll give up that Smart Water faster than you can say, 'carbonation'!"
Smart Water. Let's take a moment to look at that, shall we? I've seen no evidence of intelligent life in this visually appealing bottle. And, if it's THAT smart, shouldn't it be able to figure out how to avoid my ankles? To work its magic in 32 ounces rather than 64? To make green tea taste better than lawn clippings? I'm just asking here.......... The bottle boasts that the water has been vapor-distilled to replicate nature's purest form of water - that found in clouds. I knew it! Aliens are involved. Ohhh - wait - it's a theme: aliens - green; tea - GREEN! I'm rambling, but you get the point, right?
Now...about that green tea........RATS! Must excuse myself..........off to the powder room...............
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