5:45 am - Hot water/lemon. I've got nothing here; I've exhausted my whining about this ritual. It happens. I gag. Uvula shudders and considers another disappearing act. It's over. We both move on with our days!
5:47 am - Start the microwave egg process. Yes, "start". Let me explain. While walking along the aisles at Hannaford Bros one Saturday, I found this white, heavy-duty plastic thing that you use to microwave eggs. It's got two round, white compartments with a handle that sort of curves outward at the bottom. When you insert the eggs and close the cooker, it sort of looks like Jeff Goldblum in "The Fly". Really. I tried to find a picture, but struck out. You'll have to go with me on this. So - at 5:47 am, my mouth all puckered up from that damned hot water/lemon torture, I was leaning against my counter laughing hysterically. I've just re-read this. I think it's incredibly funny, but perhaps you had to be there. Finish the eggs. They're slightly less rubbery than the first time I tried using the dish. Score! Hot eggs. Oh - and green tea. BIG surprise!
9:30 am - Vanilla yogurt and Maine blueberries. Delicious. Loved it. Having it again tomorrow. Although, I must say that I fail to see the logic. Another diet rule: you can have vanilla yogurt. ONLY. I can ADD blueberries or strawberries, but I CANNOT buy Greek yogurt with those fruits already added. Who MAKES these rules? MONK????
11:50 am - Baby spinach salad, tomatoes, bacon, grilled chicken - light balsamic vinaigrette dressing. Green tea (stunned, aren't you?). Sent my friend, Betty Dix, an email marked, "Yummm" and described my salad to her. Pretty soon, the Blackberry vibrated. Betty's response had arrived. It read:
"No bacon"
Please! We can have pork, but no bacon? The remainder of my lunch was spent knocking tiny little bacon pieces off baby spinach leaves and bite-sized pieces of chicken before consuming them. I abandoned the tomato; there just wasn't enough time left to cleanse those things! It's called a lunch HOUR for a reason, after all!
6:30 pm - Baked chicken breast with sweet yellow, orange and red peppers; steamed cauliflower seasoned with garlic. (Watch...I'm not supposed to eat colored peppers, either!). and.........green tea!
But let's rewind a bit. All the way back to lunch; to the bacon tragedy. "Bacon-gate", if you will. What's up wtih bacon? Is it from an undesirable part of the pig? Like the rump? How ironic. Mine's pretty much in the same boat at this stage of the game! Is it because..........(gasp!) it............smokes?
Whatever the reason, there's one little piggy crying, "why me, me, me, me?" .....all the way to the dumpster!
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